  Lu Mitchell Photos: Italy, 2005...  Lu's 2005 trip to Italy and the Leaning Tower of Pisa provided material for a new song... The Cleanest Little Touche in Tuscany © Lu Mitchell If you ever go to Italy you’re in for a surprise Their plumbing is the best in every way There’s a big white bowl between the toilet and the shower And they call it a porcelain bidet I thought it was a washtub when first it caught my eye So I sudsed out my socks right away Then someone set me straight, now I’m an advocate Of the fixture called the porcelain bidet Bridge: My first try was a blunder with this strange plumbing wonder Should I squat or straddle-- frontwards or back—which way? So I threw caution to the wind and stuck my fanny in For the spray from the porcelain bidet Some Italian men have beards and some have stringy hair But never doubt their sanitary ways Squeeky clean is how they feel, they get the Good Housekeeping Seal Those users of the porcelain bidets Bridge: The Leaning Tower of Pisa, The Ponte Veccio We will not forget them in our time But the most impressive art we remember from the start Is the art of the porcelain bidet Concluding Verse: Now I ‘ve the cleanest little touché in Tuscany I’m filled with confidence each day I have the cleanest little touché in Tuscany I’m a veteran of the Porcelain Bidet  Photo Index Home |